When I moved to West Hollywood 22 years ago, the first priority was to live in a place where I could live openly as a gay man, without fear of reprisals, particularly in employment. During the evolution of my years, I was proud to have contributed to the creation of a more "open" world, a world in which GLBT people were no longer silent or invisible. I have always thought of West Hollywood as my tribe, my place and people. Others were welcome to live with us, but it was the one place in the world we could call "ours".
The HIV Plague also devastated me. I don't recall the exact statistics, but well over 60% of my "cohort group" of gay men (personally, it feels like 80%) died between 1983 and 1993. I personally lost about 90% of my friends and associates during those years.
 Ed Garren with his friends Mamasoon Hong (l) and Sonia Hong, owners of Irv’s Burgers. Courtesy Ed Garren. |
A "cohort group" is usually a group of people with about a five or eight year age spread. For example, everyone in my "Cohort Group" remembers what class at school they were in when we found out John Kennedy had been shot. The empty shell on Santa Monica and West Knoll, which once housed the Athletic Club, was the hottest gym in America. In 1985, while I was a member, over 100 members died in one year. In terms of Gay life, the West Hollywood that exists today, is but a pale shadow of it's former self.
I lived through the erasure of much of the "community" I had known in my early years here, as well as the loss of much of my "tribe". Some peers have called it a wave of "Multiple Loss Syndrome" by those of us who got left behind. Then we all hit middle age, and for any number of reasons, tend to be isolated from many of our remaining peers. It's the closest thing I can think of to being a Holocaust Survivor that has occurred among Americans of my generation, and it hurts so much that few of us even talk about it much. We were once part of a "tribe" and now that tribe is gone.
During my 22 years in West Hollywood, I usually made my living out of the immediate area. So I worked in places as diverse as Granada Hills, Watts, Fullerton, Compton, Garden Grove and Inglewood. I got to see, and become associated with a plurality of communities, and even more interesting, see how they interact with each other. I take great delight in making "introductions" and watching people discover that they have much more in common than they suspect.
 A small “community” of people with an interest in Historic Preservation on a tour. By Ryan Gierach.. |
A small example, in the early 1990s when I was Program Director at Korean Community Services in Fullerton, I hired a number of African American staff members because we were all "southern". The first bond became "Kim Chi", Koreans watching Black folks devouring it, and marveling that any group of non-Koreans could love it as much as they do. Then they discovered that they both have a long tradition of eating "Chittlins", cooked all day and served hot & spicy over rice. That cinched the deal. Both groups discovered their long relationship with being enslaved, and all the nuances that go along with survival while being enslaved, and in less than six months, our little agency was one of the most "colorful" agencies in southern California - a Korean agency with a gay Program Director and a staff who spoke in five languages, representing every racial group in the region.
A decade later when I briefly returned to the agency, the founder’s daughter (the new Executive Director) told me that because of my actions, the agency was the only Drug/Alcohol treatment agency in Orange County with any Black staff members. And of course, given the usual images of Korean/African American relationships, I smiled. It's good to leave a Mitzvah or two along the way. And so it goes, how do we create and sustain community? What draws us into one, holds our attention and fascination, and makes us feel like we "belong"?
And in that backdrop, ?
Ultimately, each of us who have a connection to the place and the people will answer that question, both personally, and publicly, because "Community" is both within and how we share that within with those around us. It's about people, not architecture, or even place.
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I have recently departed on a yearlong sojourn around America, joining another group of "outsiders" in society. We are a heavily stigmatized group in society. We are outcasts, considered to be the lowest of the low; we are persons who live in manufactured housing. We are "Trailer Trash". My Travel Trailer (one type of RV) was made on an assembly line, has aluminum siding, and I am currently "parked" in a rather delightful RV park in Castaic. Once my recent surgery has healed and the doctor releases me, I'll hitch it up and take to the highway in search of adventure, America and "community".
I've been RV-ing for years on vacations, met wonderful smart creative people, and wanted to spend more time on the road, which I truly love. I've heard we have Republicans in the park, but I have yet to meet any. From the young construction workers and their wives who travel from job to job, to the retired film grips and writers (like me), my new "tribe" is keenly aware of class issues, the stigma that goes with them, and exploitation by the powerful of people like us who work for a living (or once did). It's an amazing and adventurous group of people. Our common bond is our love of travel, seeing what's around the corner, meeting people who are different from ourselves, waking up in new places, making friends, constantly learning about life and how to enjoy it to the fullest. Ours is a mobile tribe, we are nomads. Yet wherever we find each other, we are instantly connected.
 Community occurs in many shapes and forms, including in our choice of eateries. By Ryan Gierach |
Two interesting statistics about us - As a group, we have a higher educational/skill level than the general population. And among "seniors" who RV, we have only 30% of the health problems of our stationary counterparts, and live 10 to 15 years longer. Gerontology departments at universities routinely study us to find out why we are healthier and live longer. Our answer is always, "because we feel happy and free".
With all the rhetoric about one planet, one human race, the reality is that most people rarely live in more than one culture (unless they emigrate to another country). I had lived in two cultures before I got to West Hollywood, so I'm up to three now.
And travel does expand horizons. It's one thing to look at pictures of people; it's another to live in their world for a while. My rolling house gives me the freedom to do that, while maintaining my own home, with it's own personal comforts.
What I know, both personally and professionally, is that all human beings experience a need to belong, to be part of a "tribe". In my RV tribe, I have found a deep sense of generosity, kindness, adventure, and openness to life. I have found little judgment and even less malice; it is truly wonderful.
It is everything I had hoped that West Hollywood would become.
Edward "Ed" Garren, MFT is a Marriage and Family Therapist originally from the Tampa Bay area of central Florida. He also lived in Miami before moving to West Hollywood in 1983. Mr. Garren’s work has been published in the Los Angeles Times, Frontiers Newsmagazine, and in books, including "Out of My Mind", a pictorial memoir by Kris Nelson.