My friend Joel Mark had the reception for his show at the Pacific Design Center (Thursday 2-13-06). I had business in LA, so I had an extra reason to fly west and catch up with friends and colleagues.
 Ed Garren on a recent visit to Irv’s Burgers. By Ryan Gierach. |
The plane touched down about five hours after a rainstorm had scrubbed the air. I wish I'd had a window seat, the vistas outside the plane were stunning, Catalina to the left, snow capped San Gabriels and Tehachapi's to the right. When the air is clean, Los Angeles is a breath-taking place, one understands the inspiration for its name when we see the abrupt mountains surround and embrace "Our Lady, Queen of The Angels" sitting on a rise in the basin.
That lasted about twenty-four hours. For one afternoon, night and part of the next morning, clean air was my friend. Then the wind shifted and I was reminded why I'd gone away. It's an awful thing to dread air, but my life in Los Angeles taught me just that.
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Between all the weather talk about "Santa Ana's", few ever take the time to really think about what's happening. The sun gets brilliant, the air gets dry, and an orange cloud begins to appear in the basin, valleys and slightly above the horizon. The weather report never describes it, nor will the Chamber of Commerce. It too is breath taking, but in a different context.
Years ago, I was returning from a trip to Santa Fe New Mexico on I-40. As I drove westward towards Flagstaff, an orange cloud loomed larger and larger on the horizon. I asked myself, "Is this pollution from LA, so far away"? I stopped for gas in Flagstaff and asked the woman behind the counter. She laughed, "We're having a dust storm."
That same orange cloud, in the middle of northern Arizona that day, gets blown west into Southern California whenever the "Santa Ana's" are blowing, which is most of winter when it's not raining.
 Solomon, watching closely over Ed on the road. By Ed Garren. |
When this happens, most of the people I know are affected. "I've caught a little head cold", "My throat is sore", "My head is stuffed up", "I've got a little cough", are all the usual complaints I hear. If one is particularly aware, you can rub your fingers together and feel a fine grit between them. People notice that they get a dust accumulation on furniture within 12 hours. You get your car washed and waxed and the next day it's covered with the stuff.
For those of you who don't get any of the above symptoms (there are a lucky few), there is all the gush about how beautiful the weather is. The rest of us are carrying Kleenex, popping anti-histamines, decongestants, all trying to stop the water in our eyes, unclog our ears, and keep from succumbing to more serious things like strep throat and bronchitis. The really cursed of us spend weeks walking around with our noses and throats stop sign raw, blowing bloody stuff out of our noses, We get strep throat, two or three times a season. It's really awful.
Another tip, people drive nuts when the Santa Ana's blow. Drivers tend to run stop signs, swerve too much, hit the brakes late, all related to trying to see through tear swollen eyes, or reaction times dulled by large doses of Benedryl or other anti-histamines. Those who don't ingest anti-histamines have bodies cranking them out. One feels fatigued, gets tired easily. These are all the things that the "Isn't this weather great?" people are oblivious to. Breast-fed at infancy, their bodies rarely get the plethora of allergies that plague those of us whose mothers were advised to feed us formula. One more occasion where the medical profession in collusion with corporate America negatively affected the lives of millions of us. To this day I'm wary of any doctor who won't tell me why I need to follow his/her advice.
 Why I hate spring. By Ed Garren. |
If you're one of the lucky ones who don’t notice much, let me tell you how you can have something akin to this experience. After all, we all like to share experiences, it's a tribal thing, adventure, becoming one with the universe. So, here goes. In a small saucer, put some body powder, add some chili pepper, and a touch of salt. Mix this stuff up, pour a little of it in the palm of your hand, hold it to your nose and sniff it all the way up inside. After that, stuff some cotton in your nostrils, or put a wet wash clothe over your face. Go to the gym, walk the streets, attempt casual conversation, drive across town, try to park your car, attempt eating your favorite foods (you can remove the wet cloth for this one). Spend a day like this, better yet, spend six or eight weeks like this, sniffing more powder if the symptoms let up, don't forget to sniff some just before bed.
When you get to the point where you want to slit your wrists, welcome to my world. Oh, and then there is spring when all that pollen gets added to the mix. A photo of my last allergy attack is included. I had four episodes like this last winter & spring, which is about average. The worst part is feeling absolutely great in the morning, and having one of these slam me mid day. Within three hours I am sick and many times can't drive.
Suddenly the term "Breath Control" takes on a whole new context, nature doing some major S&M on unsuspecting thousands.
Now you know how I spent my five days in LA last week, and why I didn't call everyone I'd hoped to.
Then on Thursday morning I got a call from the friend who watches my place in Portland, my place was broken into. My new high definition TV and two DVD/VCR combos were taken. Thankfully no vandalism and not much else was taken.
Still, violation sucks, and not in a nice way. I've ordered a security system for my living space, I wish they made one for air. Locking out all that dust and pollen would be nice.
Contrast is good, movement, east to west, west to east. Last week is was west to east of one state, this week it's east to west of the country.
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Edward "Ed" Garren, MFT is a Family Therapist, justice activist, former West Hollywood City Council candidate, writer and sojourner. He is originally from the Tampa Bay area of central Florida. Ed has been published in the Los Angeles Times, Frontiers news magazine, and other books, including "Out of My Mind", a pictorial memoir by Kris Nelson. He is currently working on a book about Addiction in America.
Ed Garren can be reached, even in the Red America’s wilds, at