Ed Garren’s Weblog

I got an eMail today from an associate.  She is a member of a Portland City Commission, a gentle and loving woman who moves around in a wheel chair.

The eMail had a link to a digital movie short she had made about an incident of discrimination which occurred in her life last fall on an outing with her family.

I have been deeply troubled by that event all day.  I have talked about it with friends.  I remain troubled by the incident, and other recent incidents that have swept into my life in the last month or so.

Another friend, an elderly gay man, who is also wheel chair bound now, had an issue at his dialysis clinic, because he is “sweet” on one of the technicians at the facility.

In his case, he was friendly with the tech, nothing sexual, just trying to make conversation because his entire life consists of going to dialysis and going home.  He is about as harmless as a de-clawed house cat, and probably not long for this world at 77.

For whatever reason the clinic felt it necessary to bring him into the directors office and tell him that his behavior was unacceptable, and that he was to have no further contact with the technician.  The technician had never mentioned anything, expressed any discomfort or concern.  All of a sudden, my friend gets hauled in and dressed down for his harmless conversations.

In tears, he related this story to me, and his sense of betrayal over the situation.  His partner was also deeply hurt and angered and gets sick at the thought of ever going back to the place.

The woman who is mentioned at the beginning shared about how she was bullied out of the event, and her family went on to do the event without her, leaving her in tears outside.

I was shocked, not just that the bullies had run her out, or that her family had not opposed the injustice, but then they went on without her, leaving her alone with her tears.

As I write about this, I want to be very clear that it is not just my associate, or my friend, but a regional malaise, a mental illness if you please that seems to run a heavy thread in most “native” families in the region.

My comments are not meant to be accusatory of her, or her family, or my friend at the dialysis clinic.  This is a systemic issue, a cultural one, and most of us who have moved here from other places, or locals who have lived elsewhere and returned all have the same reaction to it.

Dumbfounded amazement.

This is truly “off the scale” to me.  I just don’t get it.  Not just because of my own sense of personal justice, but our national legacy of “taking a stand”, “sitting in”, and other non violent acts of courage that have formed a more just society.

What if Rosa Parks had cooperated and gotten up and given her seat to the white man on the bus?  After all of the blood shed so that people could live with more dignity, surrendering dignity in order to “get along” makes no sense, and insults those who died so that we could have freedoms.

The “South” is just as polite, just as “family oriented”, and has family roots that run just as deep.  But any of this bullying behavior would be met with a very different response “back home.”  The response would be measured and polite, but firm, “you and what army?”

Surrendering to a bully is the ultimate way to “lose face.”

The south is a culture that spawned the Dixie Chicks song “Good Bye Earl” about two women who poison an abusive husband and dump the body in a lake.  Capitulation is not celebrated, life is too tough.

People out here don’t seem to understand that all of the work of Gandhi and King was “in your face” direct confrontation of an oppressive status quo.  The actions were peaceful, measured and disciplined, but they were also confrontational and combative.  It specifically was civil disobedience, in other words, they broke laws that they believed to be unjust.

I have a wonderful documentary, “The Women of Country Music” about the rise of women in the music business in America.  Few realize that it was these women who were the first to write their own songs and sell millions of them.  They changed the music business forever.

One of the earliest, Patsy Montana, the first woman to sell one million records (”I Want to Be a Cowboy’s Sweetheart”, 1936) shares about how in her career, they tried to pay her less because she was the “girl singer.”  She said, “I stood my ground, I didn’t let them scare me, I stood my ground and I got the cut I was supposed to get.”

In the same documentary, Loretta Lynn states, “you have to toughen up to survive in this business.”  Given the brutalities of current life in America, that seems like good advice for all of us.  What the documentary makes clear is that the only way people get ahead is to feel comfortable fighting for what is important to them.

There seems to be an ethos in the region about confrontation, and the avoidance of it, that makes it very easy for bullies to rule the day.   I would also suggest (as winter and “the rain” approaches) that our region has some of the highest rates of clinical depression in the country.  We blame the weather on it, but I suspect the weather is only a co-factor.

I think a lot of people are depressed because they don’t feel much control over their lives, and human interactions seem to be one long mine field filled with injustice and pain and no acceptable way to protect ones self from assault with one’s own honest anger.

In my private practice, every client I’ve had who is a native of the region (and usually trying to get off of the anti-depressants they have been on for years) comes to the conclusion that he/she has never learned an acceptable way to express anger when someone is hurting them.

So how did we get here?  To this place where we are obsessed with being polite to people who push us around, where we think we are being noble martyrs because we won’t say “No” when we are being treated unfairly?

Family Therapy theory and practice acknowledges the importance of culture with regard to belief systems, particularly regarding human interaction and dealing with people in daily life.  The culture of the Pacific Northwest is legendarily “Conflict Avoidant”, people here will avoid any form of conflict or seemingly adversarial behaviors at all costs.

In the case of my associate, even her family did not object to the way she was being treated, and then went on to the event without her.  My friend at the dialysis clinic was polite in the directors office, agreeing with her, and only when he got in the safety of his car, did he break down and cry over the humiliation of the event.

Depression is “Anger turned inward”, so when someone treats us in a hurtful way, where does our anger go if we don’t express it in the moment when the hurt is inflicted?  We all have a large capacity to absorb pain and process it, but even the largest storage has limits.  When those limits are exceeded, something snaps.  It may be a nervous breakdown, or it may be the guy who goes home and shoots up his family and/or the neighborhood.

Those “Summit Health” ads on TV, “If your anti-depressant alone isn’t working” give me creeps.  How much more “Soma” do you need?

I have lived in three cultures before moving here.  After four years, I still love the place, and the people who live here.  But for the sake of the mental health and the social justice of the region, we need to learn ways to express our anger when we are mis-treated back at the person who is mis-treating us.  Bottling it up inside is a slow poison, that adds to the “grey” of our lives, makes us sick, depressed and unhappy.

In the same documentary, singer Lacy J. Dalton says of the early days of the feminist movement, “I didn’t like the militancy of it.  But as I’ve become older, I’ve really become very understanding of that.  Because unless we really make a fuss sometimes, nobody is gonna listen.”

If you’re unable to defend yourself, can’t stand up for your own personal dignity and justice, then why would anyone else fight on your behalf?

I told my associate that I hope she, her family and friends, go back to the venue this fall, all go in, and if they try to boot her out, make a big ruckus.

Oh, I told her to invite the press too.

“You have to make the injustice visible”  Mohandus Gandhi

Thanks,  Ed Garren

A friend sent this excellent article, published in The Guardian (a United Kingdom newspaper).

At the risk of incurring the wrath of many of my friends, I agree with the author.  We “liberals” have been too polite, too complicit and too compliant with the onslaught of “conservatives.”  In other words, we have been “lambs” while the wolves have been tearing the country to shreds, devouring the poor, gutting the treasury, and bankrupting the country.

 Is it any wonder that the use of anti-depressant drugs has doubled in the last ten years?

 One of the reasons that Barack Obama has gained so much respect is that when someone attacked him during his campaign, he came right back with an intelligent response.

He continues to engage those with whom he has differences, and while being politically expedient, he has not been politically impotent.

One of the main reasons we “progressives” have not fared well in the last decades is that we are afraid to take on issues, bullies, malcontents and liars.  Barney Frank and Barbara Boxer seem to be the only persons in congress with good old fashioned “balls” and “backbone.”  Maybe it’s because they are both Jewish and understand that when you’re dealing with bullies, you need to fight back, period.

Until we “progressives” are willing to fight back, hard, we will continue to lose ground, which we can no longer afford to do, both for the sake of the nation and the planet.

Here it is, please feel free to comment below.

*******************

To see this story with its related links on the guardian.co.uk site, go tohttp://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/cifamerica/2009/aug/29/edward-kennedy-democrats-defeat

 Ted Kennedy: a lamb, not a lion

I admired and supported Ted Kennedy ? but he was the symbol of an era when liberals lost the battles that mattered

 Muhammad Cohen

Sunday August 30 2009

guardian.co.uk

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/cifamerica/2009/aug/29/edward-kennedy-democrats-defeat

Ted Kennedy was the champion of the American left during the greatest surge to the right in US political history. Rather than the liberal lion of the Senate, fiercely defending his turf, he was a lamb who failed to halt, and even abetted, the country’s slide away from his principals and ideals. The very word “liberal” morphed from an adjective to an accusation while Ted Kennedy was the keeper of its flame.

I don’t make these charges as one of the legion of Kennedy-haters. Quite the contrary: I’m a proud, card-carrying liberal. My “To sail against the wind” poster, a campaign contribution keepsake from Kennedy’s one and only presidential run in 1980, showing the senator stoutly striding to the left, has graced my walls on three continents. I would have voted for Kennedy over any presidential candidate of the past 40 years, so count me as a true believer.

I don’t blame Kennedy for that 1980 run against Jimmy Carter, a sitting president of his own party. I don’t even blame Kennedy ? although many do ? for Carter’s subsequent defeat at the hands of Ronald Reagan. In 1979, Jimmy Carter threatened: “If Kennedy runs, I’ll whip his ass.” Kennedy let Carter whip his ass, and that’s unforgivable. Though friends and foes alike salute Kennedy’s legislative record, those bills are mere footnotes to the dominant US trend of the past 40 years, a huge ass-whipping for liberals. The Americans With Disabilities Act, No Children Left Behind and the Occupational Safety and Health Act don’t stack up to a single Clarence Thomas or Rush Limbaugh that Kennedy helped create. Kennedy was the leading light on the left during an era when liberals got whipped in every battle that mattered, a loser of historic proportion.

Kennedy didn’t just fail to stem the rightward tide, he helped power it. Through his own personal misconduct, from cheating at Harvard to Chappaquiddick to his binge with William Kennedy Smith of blue-dot rape trial fame, Kennedy exemplified the privileged irresponsibility that fueled the rightwing revolution.

The Kennedy name was said to be magical among liberals, but it became even more effective for conservatives. The mere mention of Ted Kennedy on any issue was enough to open rightwing wallets. For every dollar Kennedy raised for causes he supported, his name probably raised ten times more for causes he opposed. While portraying himself as a champion of the working class, Kennedy financed the movement that convinced millions of Joe the Plumbers to vote against their own interests.

Kennedy became a powerful symbol for his enemies of everything that was wrong with government, liberals, Democrats, and Washington, but failed to use his iconic position to inspire and move his allies. He was the one liberal politician of his time guaranteed a national audience whenever he spoke out. But Kennedy rarely chose to grasp that big stage to galvanize his side and move public opinion on key issues that defined the US over the past four decades.

Where was he on the George Bush the elder’s Supreme Court nomination of Clarence Thomas, the rightwing extremist whose lifetime appointment to the court will have a far greater impact than Kennedy and his brothers combined? When Thomas’ 1991 confirmation hearings deteriorated into a circus with pubic hair on soda cans in the centre ring, where was Kennedy to tell the president and the country that it had to demand someone better? Actually, Kennedy was right there on the Senate Judiciary Committee, gagged by his own string of sexual peccadilloes.

When Thomas cast the vote that made the younger George Bush president, where was Kennedy to say it was wrong in a democracy for nine judges to order vote counting stopped? Where was Kennedy to express liberal outrage at this farce and to lead a movement to refuse to recognise Bush as president until the votes were counted? Why wasn’t he calling on fellow lawmakers to stand and turn their backs whenever they were confronted with this immorally-appointed president?

Well, Kennedy was too busy then crafting the flawed and under-funded No Children Left Behind Act that not only made public education less effective but gave the sham president legitimacy. After asserting Bush betrayed him, Kennedy went back to work again with that same administration on prescription drug coverage for seniors, only to see his support used to create a government handout for drug companies. Fool me twice….

Where was Kennedy’s call for liberals to take to the streets to protest the invasion of Iraq, as they had to end the war in Vietnam? Where was he on the erosion of civil liberties under George Bush? Where was he over the past 40 years on taking meaningful steps to end America’s dependence on imported oil and stop fouling the planet?

Most important, where was Kennedy on the decades-long slide starting with Reagan that transformed government’s mandate and public opinion about the very mission of America? Kennedy’s silence was deafening as Republicans and Democrats alike pandered to business and cut taxes on the wealthy, mocking his brother John’s clarion call in his inaugural speech: “Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.”

It’s deeply ironic that Kennedy dies in the midst of a national firestorm over healthcare reform, the cause that he hoped to make his crowning achievement. He leaves the issue mired in the lies and muddle that he didn’t challenge while it spread to poison the national debate. Senior citizens with their social security benefits and Medicare cards stand up at town hall meetings today demanding, “Keep government’s hands off my healthcare,” not only because of Fox News and rightwing radio, but because Ted Kennedy refused to use his mantle to refute the noise and nonsense on the right, leaving it instead of the likes of Al Franken.

Kennedy eschewed that national spotlight to become the consummate Capitol Hill insider. His accomplishments, while noteworthy and substantial, did nothing to counteract the nation’s lurch to the right. He chose to work in the comfortable, clubby confines of the Senate while his team desperately needed a public leader. Perhaps, given the times and trends (though with Watergate, Reagan and his hoodlums, 9/11 and Iraq, the Democrats certainly have had some cards to play), Kennedy drew a Mission: Impossible ? but unlike the fictional agents, Kennedy chose not to accept his mission.

Renowned as an orator, it’s fitting that Kennedy’s best known words have come in tragedy and defeat. There’s this beautiful tribute in his eulogy for Robert Kennedy: “As he said many times, in many parts of this nation, to those he touched and who sought to touch him: ‘Some men see things as they are and say why. I dream things that never were and say, why not?’”

After Carter whipped his ass, Kennedy told the 1980 Democratic national convention: “The work goes on, the cause endures, the dream will never die.” In his electrifying appearance at last year’s Democratic party convention in Denver, the stricken Kennedy, whose early support helped Barack Obama secure the presidential nomination, said, “The work begins anew, the hope rises anew, the dream lives on.”

Because of Kennedy’s own failures and flaws, despite nearly half a century in the Senate, so much of what he stood for remains nothing more than dreams.

An earlier version of this article appeared in Asia Times Online.

Living in a Constant State of Fear

Our community (Gay, Lesbian, Bi-sexual, Trans, Queer) has a lot going on right now.  The lingering question of marriage rights, of the right to serve in the Armed Forces without fear, the ongoing storms of constantly having our dignity and humanity questioned and brought to a vote in ballot initiatives loom over our lives as constant unwanted companions.   It’s been 32 years since 1977, when Anita Bryant launched the first “Anti-Gay” ballot initiative in Miami Florida, and that 32 years has been marked by dozens of ballot initiatives, most of which our community has lost.  The recent loss of marriage in California underscores our status as “half citizens”, they want our tax money, but they don’t want us to be free.

Add those things to the list of the more daily issues like public display of affection, how to address a partner in public (saying “Honey” out loud in the store) and our significant numbers who are married to women, but seek “NSA action” on the side, and it’s easy to demonstrate that our lives are more complicated than those who live in the mainstream.

I believe that all gay men grow up and live in a constant state of fear.  Fear  of discovery, fear of rejection, fear of physical violence, the list goes on and on.   Many of us can “pass” for straight, but the constant fear of being discovered never really goes away.  That constant fear significantly affects our self-esteem and our ability to fight back against those who want us to shut up and go away.

In my private practice, as well as in the social services agencies I’ve worked in, the story is always the same, smart handsome men, who work very hard to “fit in”, often at the cost of our own sense of self, who wonder why we feel empty inside and either self medicate with drugs and alcohol, and/or are taking prescribed anti-depressants.  A recent story on ABC News centered on how the use of Anti-Depressant drugs in this country has doubled in the last decade.  How many of us have swelled those numbers?

At the height of the HIV plague, before there were the current medicines that slow down the progress of the virus, two actions groups emerged among the dying,  those who knew they only had a couple of years left to live.

The first was “Act Up”, with it’s mantra, “Silence equals death / Action equals life.”  The second was “Queer Nation” whose slogan was “We’re Queer, We’re here, We’re fabulous, Get used to it.”

I lived in Los Angeles at the time, and one of the direct impacts of these two movements was the explosion of gay men and lesbians into mainstream media.  Basically, closeted men who had led quiet and comfortable lives working as producers and directors, lost patience with the status quo and decided to rock the boat before they died.  Their actions led to the emergence of gay characters in virtually every aspect of media, television, film, etc.  These people decided to go out with dignity, instead of quiet patience that somehow “things would change” on their own.

So now I’m living here in Portland and the status quo includes such attributes as “patience”, “understanding” and being orderly and reserved.   People want change, but seem to think that someone else will make it happen, not us.

And I have a steady stream of people in my practice who have been depressed for years.

In this day of anti-depressant drugs, and the belief that depression is “a chemical imbalance in the brain” a couple of basic truths have been lost.  The first is that depression is “anger turned inward.”  If we can’t express our anger when we are being assaulted (physically or emotionally) then we “stuff it” and get sick, physically, mentally or both. 

The second truth is that if you torment an animal repeatedly, it’s brain chemistry WILL become imbalanced in order to accommodate the ongoing torment.  Part of that accommodation is to create a defense mechanism that makes it okay to live in fear. 

We have become experts at denying some basic, and very liberating truths about who we are.  We also have a very hard time fighting back, which is the most exhilarating and liberating thing any of us can do.

I have a very simple question I ask myself whenever I need to decide how to deal with a situation that involves my dignity.  “Do “straight” people have to do this?”

If the answer is “No”, then I don’t do it either.  Life is too short to spend it in half misery, being a half person, in a half world, so that the people who hate us can continue to feel comfortable hating us.

Edward “Ed” Garren, MA, LMFT

One of my favorite quotes from a very famous Floridian, pulitzer prize winner, Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings.

 ******************************************************************************

 If there can be such a thing as instinctual memory, the consciousness of land and water must lie deeper in the core of us than any knowledge of our fellow beings.

We were bred of the earth before we were born of our mothers.  Once born we can live without our mothers, or fathers, or any other kin, or any friend, or human love.

We cannot live without the earth or apart from it, and something is shriveled in man’s heart when he turns away from it and concerns himself only with the affairs of men.

Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings

author of “The Yearling”

from her memoirs “Cross Creek”

This mornings New York Times has the following article about how fluctuations in the price of oil are making both budgeting, and the possibility of an economic recovery very difficult.  Here’s a link to the article:

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/06/business/06oil.html?emc=eta1 

Being a psychotherapist, who is trained to listen and intuit the significance of what is NOT said, and combining it with what IS said, an obvious picture is emerging out of this situation.

Remember when Rush Limbaugh made the statement that he wanted Obama to fail at getting the country back on it’s feet?

We know that Rush is the mouthpiece for the most greedy elements of Republican party leadership.  We also know that those “most greedy elements” are hip deep in the energy industry.

“Connect the dots” people, if they play with the price of oil, and soak up any extra money that might get back into circulation by inflating the price of oil, what happens to the economic recovery?

It fails.

If the Democrats fail at getting the country back on it’s feet, then the Republicans come in, gloating, boasting,  ”we told you all along that the Democrats don’t know what to do, that government does not work” and they get back in power.

Don’t fall for it.  There is enough oil around to keep prices stable, but the oil industry uses any burp or belch as an excuse to jack up prices.   When they do, remember who is really the brains behind the charade, and think of Rush Limbaugh’s statements about wanting the president (and therefore the country) to fail.

Any way you can get away from using gasoline, or using less of it will help the country.   If you can buy a car or other major product that is made in America, that helps the economy.

The new Ford Fusion Hybrid gets 41 MPG in the city and is a real kick to drive.  Here’s one review:

http://wehonews.com/z/wehonews/archive/page.php?articleID=3610 

Insist on the production of electric cars for city use.  We have the technology GM’s EV1 was a great car, killed by the oil industry, watch the movie “Who Killed the Electric Car” for details.  A link to watch the entire movie on YouTube is here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3rw9MsHB8Y

Encourage municipalities to convert to electric busses and trolley cars.    Write your congress person and tell them that now the “we the people” own General Motors that they return to production of electric cars (like the EV1) and make the technology available to other auto manufacturers (like they sell other components to competitors) so that Chrysler can also make electric cars.  A modern electric car can go over 120 miles on one charge, enough for virtually all daily driving a person does.  Cost wise, it’s the same as driving a gasoline car, except the gasoline costs less than 50 cents a gallon.  And, the energy is made in the United States, not the middle east or some other off shore place.

Also, insist that there be a full congressional investigation of all the connections and collusion between the energy industry and the Bush/Cheney era, who stole their way into the treasury in the first place.

The sooner we get away from oil, the stronger our country will be.

And remember, if Rush says something outlandish again, he’s just telling you what they are planning on doing, and thank him for spilling the beans.

 Here is a YouTube video of Bonnie speaking recently at a symposium on Marriage Equality, talking about her spiritual journey as a Quaker and a Lesbian, and how she came to know the importance of marriage equality, and how the current inequality hurts children, parents, and society.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCtbziDMuIc 

Bonnie Tinker was killed in a Truck/Bicycle accident last week in Virginia.  She was 61.  The long time Human Rights activist was the founder of “Love Makes a Family”, a group that advocates for the rights of so called “Alternative Families.”  The full story can be found at the following link:

http://www.oregonlive.com/news/index.ssf/2009/07/to_the_end_friends_say_bonnie.html

I had the absolutely delightful honor of meeting Bonnie at a “Separation of Church and State” conference about a month ago at Portland State University.

 I made some observations about not being so patient with people who hate us (GLBTQ persons), and that patience in the face of injustice is never a virtue.

Afterwards Bonnie came up with that beaming smile of hers, and we recognized each other as kindred spirits. We exchanged phone numbers, and planned to get together soon. Now “soon” won’t be happening, though I suspect she’s looking down and smiling as I write this.

Something that our detractors rarely seem to understand is how passionately we “activists” love life, and want as many people as possible to have a fair shot at living a full and rich life. “The World” is always trying to make us less than human, less than full children of a loving God, less important.

Too many people buy into it, and then look at people like Bonnie, myself, or other activists and angrily ask “Why do you think you’re so important?”

Nelson Mandella answered the question very well: 

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear: our presence automatically liberates others.”

–Nelson Mandela

Bonnie understood this, personal liberation is why we are all here, it is how we grow closer to God, and more appreciative of the life God has given us.Even though I barely knew her, I will miss her healing strength in this broken world.

May she rest in peace, and may the rest of us continue to make trouble wherever there is oppression.

The feisty man’s guide to aging anything but gracefully

• By Roy Rowan
• Smithsonian magazine, April 2009

 She was so pretty, her face etched in sadness peering out the window of the bus. I guess my admiring stare caught her by surprise, because suddenly her face brightened, she stood up and offered me her seat.”Really, do I look that old and tottery?” I thought. No woman had ever done that before. And why should they? My barber tells me my hair is thicker than most guys half my age. Even my kids believe I’m still sharp enough to conquer all the electronic equipment they give me for Christmas. And it wasn’t that long ago that these two legs I’m standing on carried me through all twenty-six miles, three hundred and eighty-five yards of the New York City Marathon.

“Please,” the young woman said, smiling and pointing to her vacated seat. Not a sexy come-hither smile, but a benign half-smile reserved for men rendered harmless by their advanced years. Again I thought, “Do I really look so non-threatening? How would she have reacted if I had said, ‘Thanks, but why don’t we get off this rattletrap and go have a drink?’”Was it pride or plain stubbornness that kept me from accepting the proffered bus seat? Perhaps there’s a more subconscious reason: a need to stand up for older age as a vibrant and productive time of life. So many of my contemporaries have given up and let themselves disintegrate during what they facetiously call their “golden years.” And for some reason they seem to take pride in enumerating their ailments in what some wag called “organ recitals.”

“Why don’t you slow down and enjoy life?” friends keep asking. “Actually, I have,” I tell them. “I walk instead of jogging, write articles without crushing deadlines and delight in spending hours sprawled on the floor letting my 8-year-old grandson teach me how to build towering structures with his Legos.” But as for enjoying life, those well-meaning friends don’t understand that for me, it’s a matter of doing the things I’ve always done. More slowly, for sure, but more thoughtfully too, often mixing reminiscences with the job at hand.

 My heroes are the two Pablos—Picasso and Casals—who pursued their painting and cello-playing well into their 90s; not the corporate titans whose golden parachutes landed them safely inside gated communities for unbroken days of golf, bridge and sunsets seen through a martini glass. Or voluntarily inhabit one of the 36,000 retirement communities with bucolic names like Sterling Glen, Pleasant Valley and Meadow Ridge. “Live the dream, an uncompromising lifestyle awaits you,” one of their promotions promises. As far as I’m concerned, they can keep on waiting.

I still wonder why that young woman gave up her seat. It’s not as if our bodies bear visible proof of our years like a tree’s cambial rings or a male elk’s antlers. And I’m not convinced that I really am all that old. I take heart in clichés such as “age is only a number” (my wife’s, by the way, is unlisted).

Of course, down deep I know our biological clocks keep ticking. Even so I’d like to think that ageless philosopher Satchel Paige had it right when he asked, “How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you was?”

Roy Rowan is writing a book about making the most of old age.

The New Administration’s goals for civil rights:

http://www.whitehouse.gov/agenda/civil_rights/

CIVIL RIGHTS

“The teenagers and college students who left their homes to march in the streets of Birmingham and Montgomery; the mothers who walked instead of taking the bus after a long day of doing somebody else’s laundry and cleaning somebody else’s kitchen — they didn’t brave fire hoses and Billy clubs so that their grandchildren and their great-grandchildren would still wonder at the beginning of the 21st century whether their vote would be counted; whether their civil rights would be protected by their government; whether justice would be equal and opportunity would be theirs…. We have more work to do.”

– Barack Obama, Speech at Howard University, September 28, 2007

President Barack Obama has spent much of his career fighting to strengthen civil rights as a civil rights attorney, community organizer, Illinois State Senator, U.S. Senator, and now as President. Whether promoting economic opportunity, working to improve our nation’s education and health system, or protecting the right to vote, President Obama has been a powerful advocate for our civil rights.

• Combat Employment Discrimination: President Obama and Vice President Biden will work to overturn the Supreme Court’s recent ruling that curtails racial minorities’ and women’s ability to challenge pay discrimination. They will also pass the Fair Pay Act, to ensure that women receive equal pay for equal work, and the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, to prohibit discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity or expression.
• Expand Hate Crimes Statutes: President Obama and Vice President Biden will strengthen federal hate crimes legislation, expand hate crimes protection by passing the Matthew Shepard Act, and reinvigorate enforcement at the Department of Justice’s Criminal Section.
• End Deceptive Voting Practices: President Obama will sign into law his legislation that establishes harsh penalties for those who have engaged in voter fraud and provides voters who have been misinformed with accurate and full information so they can vote.
• End Racial Profiling: President Obama and Vice President Biden will ban racial profiling by federal law enforcement agencies and provide federal incentives to state and local police departments to prohibit the practice.
• Reduce Crime Recidivism by Providing Ex-Offender Support: President Obama and Vice President Biden will provide job training, substance abuse and mental health counseling to ex-offenders, so that they are successfully re-integrated into society. Obama and Biden will also create a prison-to-work incentive program to improve ex-offender employment and job retention rates.
• Eliminate Sentencing Disparities: President Obama and Vice President Biden believe the disparity between sentencing crack and powder-based cocaine is wrong and should be completely eliminated.
• Expand Use of Drug Courts: President Obama and Vice President Biden will give first-time, non-violent offenders a chance to serve their sentence, where appropriate, in the type of drug rehabilitation programs that have proven to work better than a prison term in changing bad behavior.

Support for the LGBT Community

“While we have come a long way since the Stonewall riots in 1969, we still have a lot of work to do. Too often, the issue of LGBT rights is exploited by those seeking to divide us. But at its core, this issue is about who we are as Americans. It’s about whether this nation is going to live up to its founding promise of equality by treating all its citizens with dignity and respect.”

– Barack Obama, June 1, 2007

• Expand Hate Crimes Statutes: In 2004, crimes against LGBT Americans constituted the third-highest category of hate crime reported and made up more than 15 percent of such crimes. President Obama cosponsored legislation that would expand federal jurisdiction to include violent hate crimes perpetrated because of race, color, religion, national origin, sexual orientation, gender identity, or physical disability. As a state senator, President Obama passed tough legislation that made hate crimes and conspiracy to commit them against the law.
• Fight Workplace Discrimination: President Obama supports the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, and believes that our anti-discrimination employment laws should be expanded to include sexual orientation and gender identity. While an increasing number of employers have extended benefits to their employees’ domestic partners, discrimination based on sexual orientation in the workplace occurs with no federal legal remedy. The President also sponsored legislation in the Illinois State Senate that would ban employment discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation.
• Support Full Civil Unions and Federal Rights for LGBT Couples: President Obama supports full civil unions that give same-sex couples legal rights and privileges equal to those of married couples. Obama also believes we need to repeal the Defense of Marriage Act and enact legislation that would ensure that the 1,100+ federal legal rights and benefits currently provided on the basis of marital status are extended to same-sex couples in civil unions and other legally-recognized unions. These rights and benefits include the right to assist a loved one in times of emergency, the right to equal health insurance and other employment benefits, and property rights.
• Oppose a Constitutional Ban on Same-Sex Marriage: President Obama voted against the Federal Marriage Amendment in 2006 which would have defined marriage as between a man and a woman and prevented judicial extension of marriage-like rights to same-sex or other unmarried couples.
• Repeal Don’t Ask-Don’t Tell: President Obama agrees with former Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff John Shalikashvili and other military experts that we need to repeal the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy. The key test for military service should be patriotism, a sense of duty, and a willingness to serve. Discrimination should be prohibited. The U.S. government has spent millions of dollars replacing troops kicked out of the military because of their sexual orientation. Additionally, more than 300 language experts have been fired under this policy, including more than 50 who are fluent in Arabic. The President will work with military leaders to repeal the current policy and ensure it helps accomplish our national defense goals.
• Expand Adoption Rights: President Obama believes that we must ensure adoption rights for all couples and individuals, regardless of their sexual orientation. He thinks that a child will benefit from a healthy and loving home, whether the parents are gay or not.
• Promote AIDS Prevention: In the first year of his presidency, President Obama will develop and begin to implement a comprehensive national HIV/AIDS strategy that includes all federal agencies. The strategy will be designed to reduce HIV infections, increase access to care and reduce HIV-related health disparities. The President will support common sense approaches including age-appropriate sex education that includes information about contraception, combating infection within our prison population through education and contraception, and distributing contraceptives through our public health system. The President also supports lifting the federal ban on needle exchange, which could dramatically reduce rates of infection among drug users. President Obama has also been willing to confront the stigma — too often tied to homophobia — that continues to surround HIV/AIDS.
• Empower Women to Prevent HIV/AIDS: In the United States, the percentage of women diagnosed with AIDS has quadrupled over the last 20 years. Today, women account for more than one quarter of all new HIV/AIDS diagnoses. President Obama introduced the Microbicide Development Act, which will accelerate the development of products that empower women in the battle against AIDS. Microbicides are a class of products currently under development that women apply topically to prevent transmission of HIV and other infections.